The Forbidden Love
by Kexy Kewl
Summary: She wasn't supposed to love him, yet she did, even though she knew he would never truly desire her... or would he? Nerili's first and last love, shared with and shattered by a haunted, fallen man...Wee spoilers for Riddle. Give it a shot, please? Thanks!
1. Chapter 1

**Hmmm... No one, and no one AT ALL has ever done this beautiful, mysterious, sad pairing. While I don't credit myself to be some great writer (having written only 3 stories, out of which only one is Pellinor!), I do hope that I can at least speculate within the limits of minor to moderate OOC errors and story timelines to throw Light (pun intended) on this pairing. Many people dislike Nerili. Many like Cadvan. Whilst Nerili is not my favourite character as such, she intrigues me a lot. I... actually quite enjoyed role-playing her before I decided to begin this fic. And of course, what's not to like about Cadvan, eh, fan girls?**

**So, do enjoy please. And yes. REVIEW! And here's a disclaimer: Because I've put up the disclaimer I needn't write in my disclaimer that this is a disclaimer. Ok. Read on ;)**

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><p>"Have you understood the Lore of Manianae, Nerili?" Intatha asked her.<p>

"Yes, Intatha." Nerili replied. "Is this all for today?"

"Yes, Nerili. I want you to go and translate the first ten clauses into Annaren and Thoroldian, please, and explain in two pages briefly about the same. And don't look so aggrieved, please; I have to make sure that my lessons don't pass over your pretty little head." Intatha added, after observing Nerili's mortified look.

"Yes, Intatha. Have a good day!" Nerili chirped as she gathered her things and left the hall where she was studying.

"You too have a good day, Nerili!" Intatha wished back.

Nerili went back to her room in the Bardhouse of Busk to freshen up, before joining her friends at the Copper Mermaid. Gliding through the confusing corridors, she finally arrived at her room. When she opened the door, she found herself facing an ornate mirror, with a heavy frame which was crafted as to show arms of Light interlocked together. It was done up in silver, and at the top of the mirror, two hands surported a flame, whose three tips were marked by three sapphires.

Nerili had insisted on such an exquisite mirror; she had wanted the mirror to be as beautiful, as the person - her - it reflected. It wouldn't be completely correct to call her vain, for she was too smart to be that. Rather, she was more what one could've called self-centered. Nerili had been born into an influential house. Her parents were Nelnyra of Thorold, a Bard reknowned for her political wisdom and intense knowledge of much in the great Library of Busk, and Rilinak of Thorold, a famous Thoroldian explorer, diplomat and linguist. She was also related to the then First Bard - he was the father of her mother's another child. Naturally, great things were expected from her.

She was brought up as much by her peers and her teachers, as her parents themselves. Her lifestyle wasn't constricted, so to say, but it was well disciplined from all the qualities imbibed into what her family called "an ideal daughter". When she was a minor Bard, her time would be full from taking care that she carried herself as was expected from her, doing her best in her lessons, and making sure that she did enjoy herself with her friends. Now, four years after having been made a full Bard at eighteen years of age, more complex studies of High Magery, Tending and Making, deeper mysteries of the different Lores of Edil-Amarandh and Bardic ethics and duties to her School kept her busier.

Nevertheless, she did find some time today, and was glad for it. After deeming herself ready, she made her way to the pub. The weather outside was the typical Thoroldian weather: a glorious, shining sun, warming everything generously, whilst wind blew freely from the sea, seering through the heat, to cool down the heat and the volatile tempers of the lively Thoroldians.

"Would you like some juice, madam?" a vendor came up to her, smiling.

"No, thank you, sir." She smiled, squinting from the glare of the sun.

At last, she arrived. She found the pub to be noisier than it normaly was. She entered hesitantly, as she saw a huge furore.

"If such is the state of our future," a man cried, "The future which calls itself 'Bards of the Light', then I say," he declamed dramatically, "That I do not want to be called a Bard of Light!"

His statement was greeted with a loud, supportive cheer.

"What's happening here? Kabeka?" Nerili rushed to her good friend. Kabeka, who was near to the entrance, spun around, a look of excitement in her eyes.

"Are you well versed in the names of famous Bards in Annar and north?" Kabeka asked.

"Why, yes. Hey, Sajon!" Nerili called out to a young boy who served drinks in the pub, "Get us two moonshimmers, would you?"

The boy nodded and scuttled off.

"So, what were you saying?" Nerili asked as she flipped her hair, and flinched at the noise the Bards created, "Ah, yes, about Bards, right?"

"Well," Kabeka sighed, "I'm sure then you must have heard about Cadvan of Lirigon?"

"Ah, yes, of course." Nerili replied and paid Sajon as he arrived with the drinks. "What about him?"

"Well," Kabeka inched closer to her. "News has come from Annar that Cadvan has fallen to the Dark!"

"Impossible!" Nerili gasped. "I refuse to believe it!"

"Oh, that doesn't change the truth, does it, Neri?" Nerili turned around to see a man leaning across the small table where she was sitting.

"Elenxi." Nerili nodded in greeting. Elenxi nodded back. "So I see you believe this news."

"Well, news which reaches us Thoroldians is twisted and spiced up, definitely!" Elenxi said grimly. "But alas! It's all the more easier to believe this news because of the circumstances which unleashed Cadvan's true colours: it so happened, that to show his so-called rival, Dernhil of Gent, that he was better than him, he summoned a Revenant, challenging Dernhil to do the same. The Revenant got out of control..." Elenxi paused. "And I think you're smart enough to complete the tale."

"No!" Nerili rose. "It can't be, Elenxi! Cadvan of Lirigon falls to the Dark and manages to kill Dernhil of Gent? But surely -"

Nerili was interrupted by Elenxi's hollow laugh. "Oh no, no! Dernhil lives, but is profusely injured... By the Light, it would have been all the more grievous had a great Bard such as Dernhil would've died... Which goes on to say that one thing is certain: Cadvan and Dernhil were arch-rivals. But alas! Someone else _did_ die."

"Who?" Nerili asked, sitting down again.

"Ceredin of Lirigon. Some believe her to be Cadvan's lover."

Nerili looked sick by then. She wiped her face with her lace hankerchief. "By the Light... Ceredin dead? That poor darling never harmed anyone in her life! I didn't know her very well, but I talked to her once or twice at a Meet, and I could tell just by looking at her that she symbolised everything for which any Bard of Light stood for!"

"Aye... it goes only worse, though." Kabeka added. "They say that he'd been in touch with a Hull too!"

"What - what verdict has been passed?"

"He is banned from all Schools." Kabeka replied grimly.

Nerili sat silent for a while, assimilating everything. Finally, she shrugged her head. "I suppose it is fair, considering the crimes which he has committed."

"Well," Kabeka suddenly smiled. "The best we can hope for is for the Light to shine on his path and to drive away the clouds of ignorance which made him commit such a crime."

"Hear, hear!" Nerili raised her glass and toasted Kabeka. "Let's finish our drinks and move around the shops, shall we? Elenxi, would you like to join us?"

"Thank you, my fair charm of Busk," Elenxi joked, "But, no. May the Light shine on your path!"

"And on yours!" The two young ladies said.

Whilst walking around the market, Nerili came across a beautiful blue and grey scarf. It was of a very thin material, probably satin, with a dark band as borders, and a linining of golden threads, which formed a frame around an azure sketch of Busk, and the School, done up in threads of gold, silver, blue, white and mostly grey. Along the border, written in a cursive hand writing in grey threads, was "Busk" in Thoroldian.

"How does it look on me?" Nerili asked, grinning.

"It matches your eyes perfectly!" Kabeka gushed. "Buy it, Neri, buy it! Oh, for my sake, just buy it! You wear this to the next Meet on Springturn and teach that Helgar a lesson!"

"I don't need a scarf to show that mean woman that I'm better than her." Nerili replied stiffly.

"Don't be so touchy, Nerili. I was just saying that this looks good on you!"

"Oh, I _was _going to buy it, no matter what!" Nerili grinned again, and paid the merchant and got the scarf the wrapped in a typical Thoroldian blue silk cloth.

As they were walking by and talking, enjoying the pleasing warmth of the typical Thoroldian sun, Nerili looked gravely at Kabeka.

"Beka... do you really think a Bard could fall so low?"

"Well, that is the reason for the existence of Hulls, isn't it?" Kabeka shrugged. "But why are you getting so upset, Neri? Yes, it's a grievous thing to fall from the Light, but surely you needn't be that upset, eh?"

Nerili shook her head. "Oh, I don't know, Kabeka. I just can't think of such a powerful and promising and well taught Bard of Light going corrupt. It just unnerves me. I find it hard to see someone in such a dark light, however serious his crime might be. Perhaps it's because I'm naive; because I've barely seen the world?"

"Maybe, Nerili, maybe." Kabeka replied, equally solemn. "Come, let us have a quick lunch and return back to the School, or Janusa will surely kill us!"

The girls laughed at the improbability of the idea, considering that the said Bard was too pious to even think about killing someone, and trotted merily to find a shady place to enjoy their lunch.

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><p><strong>Sooo... How was it? Was it too OOC? Too short? Too... bad? Please, review, anyhow! Criticize me, praise me, be neutral, hell... flame me! But do review. I won't get offended, I swear. I wouldn't even bite. Or strike you down with a Dark flame... Or change you into a Hull... okay, I'm gonna stop now!<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

"Is everything all well, dear heart?" A kindly voice asked, waking Nerili up from her chain of thoughts.

"Yes, mother." Nerili smiled lightly, and gracefully lifted another piece of grilled salmon coated with cashew and almond sauce from the glass dish in front of her. "Why do you ask so?"

"You just don't seem very easy today." Nelnyra said softly.

"Do you mean that I'm as talkative as the Bards of the Second Circle?" Nerili challenged humorously.

"No, Nerili, and be mindful of the way you speak." Nelnyra frowned. "It won't do to derogate anyone."

"I wasn't making fun of anyone!" Nerili sighed, exasperated.

"Hush, Nerili!" Nelnyra's frown deepened. "What has got into you today, child? Here I am, trying to help you, and in turn you're being angry with me as if I've done something wrong!"

"I'm sorry, mother, if you felt that way." Nerili wiped her mouth daintily with a napkin. "But I never intended to. And I do want to tell you that not everything I say is spoken with a bad sense to it, and that I'm only being slightly worried or impatient or angry because of something big, when you think me to be rude."

There was a long silence, during which Nerili drained the glass of wine adjacent to her plate whilst Nelnyra studied her daughter with a blank face. Finally, she began speaking:

"If you think that way, Nerili, then I've only this to say to you: I don't think you're rude, but merely impressionable. It's natural to be impressionable at this age; hence I must make you more aware of what's right and what's wrong. You're a smart girl, Nerili. I don't want to see anyone think anything bad about you."

"I see, mother." Nerili nodded.

"I understand your impatience, but bear with your elders, Nerili. And I'm sorry if I give you the impression that I'm always dissatisfied with you."

"I understand, mother. And I'm sorry."

"No need to be." Nelnyra reached out to pull a bell which summoned someone from the kitchens to clean the table and rose up. Nerili did the same. "Now, tell me, what are you thinking about?"

The two women exited their private quarter's dinning room out into a small garden overlooking a meadow of the School below, where young children played merrily and young Bards played their flutes and malikons.

"I - I was just thinking about -," Nerili took in a deep breath. "Well, I was just thinking about what it takes to fall to the Dark, and how easy it is for some. I just don't know whether I -"

"Nerili, look at me." Nelnyra gripped Nerili's forearms in an iron grasp, looking directly in her eye. "Why is there apprehension in your eyes? Have you done something wrong?"

"No." Nerili muttered.

"Well, then, don't simper like that! By the Light, Nerili, people might think that you, Nerili of Busk, have invited Hulls into the School!"

Nerili remained quiet, and her mother took in a deep breath, this time speaking more gently. "Neri, tell me child, do you think you're as susceptible as that Cadvan?"

"I might be." Nerili mumbled again.

"No, Neri, you're not. Believe me; believe your mother." Nelnyra lightly ruffled her daughter's hair. After a few minutes, Nelnyra asked her, "Are you feeling better now?"

"Yes. And thank you."

"You're always welcome. Now, go to sleep. You must be tired. Tomorrow we have the boating festival, and you'll even get to swim near the corals!"

"Yes, that'll be fun."

"Don't forget to call your friends; you're wandering alone too much these days. The rest of the Thoroldians are beginning to think that you're Annaren!" Nelnyra laughed.

"I will show them that I'm a true Thoroldian, that I promise!" Nerili also laughed.

"Yes, but do maintain a level, dear!"

Nerili bit back her exasperation and smiled weekly, as they stopped at the atrium. "Yes, mother."

"May the Light shine on your path!" Saying so, Nelnyra kissed Nerili's forehead.

"And on yours." Nerili kissed her mother back, and went along her way to her room.

Before finally stepping into her bed, Nerili brushed her hair. It was the time of the day which, for all its simplicity, Nerili enjoyed thoroughly. As she looked into the mirror, she could look at herself how she wanted to: she wasn't the prodigous Nerili of Busk, she wasn't the fun 'charm of Busk' and nor was she Neri - she was simply Nerili, a person whom no one, besides herself, could understand.

Her friends valued her, her potential was great, and she was an ideal daughter, but everyday, these were only the facades she put on to please people. In reality, she wanted to jump herself silly in the pools, she wanted to be angry enough to slap, she wanted to be treated like a young, but smart girl, she wanted to be known for who she really was.

She wanted her mother to understand that she was capable enough to draw the boundaries, to understand that she didn't want to waste her youth in being too philosophical or reserved. She wanted her friends to look deeper inside her, to look at her like she was similar to them. She wanted her father to be able to speak with her much more often. She wanted to ask the First Bard why he had let her mother go away from him. She wanted to make people realise that for all her calibre, she was only a soft, sweet girl.

Most of all, she wanted to experience love.

She was Thoroldian at heart, but it was the other people who made her seem like she was reserved and cold and, well, Annaren.

And she was sure that a lover might be able to help her shed her inhibitions and be a free, independent and strong girl.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey there! Sorry for the delay. I'm a bit lazy (okay, change that to very) and I'd gone to China for summer so, yeah, it's easy to get distracted. Anyhow, I'm here now, and that's what matters!**

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><p>Nerili dreamed of a great wave of light. It had started as a drop, inside her, until it became large enough to swallow her and finally became a wave. Suddenly, she felt the wave quivering. It was quivering both inside her, as her, and outside her. It was being sucked out, and still there. And she, Nerili, and she, the wave itself, were both crying.<p>

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><p>"Nerili? Nerili?" Someone was shaking her awake.<p>

"Wh-what?" Nerili groaned, as she raised her face groggily out from the lush pillows.

"Wake _up_, you silly girl! Whatever do you think you're at, sleeping late when it is the day of the coral expedition, to which every girl may cast spells on each other so that she is the one who gets to see those lovely corals and swim in those cool waters?"

Nerili wanted to push away this girl who'd so unmercifully aroused her from her deep slumber. She raised her head higher, and saw, with annoyance, but not surprise, that it was Kabeka.

"Kabeka...don't create such a mayhem. I'm getting up!" Nerili sat up and ruffled her tousled hair.

"That's not the point; we have missed the first excursion! And you know the real fun lies in the first excursion!"

"Kabeka, honestly, you're behaving like a child of six. In fact, six year olds behave better than you." Nerili removed her blanket. "Now, if you will, I've to get ready."

Kabeka left the room quietly enough, though her lips were still pursed up in annoyance. Nerili watched her leave and as the door was shut, she let out a tired sigh. What had that dream been about, she wondered, as she took a sea green dress which she had selected the previous night into her bath area, where she opened the taps to fill up the bath.

As she stepped in to her bath, Nerili played the dream in her mind again. A great wave of light, which remained a wave, becamer her, and left her - all at the same time. And when it was receding, she felt the pain. The pain hadn't been merely anguish about the departure of the wave; it had been almost as if she was regretting allowing the wave to overwhelm her, to enchant her, and more importantly, to become her.

Her mind was trying to decipher the dream even as she dressed, and by the time she got out of her room, Kabeka had gone half-mad.

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><p>The Great Magdelian Gesdath of Thorold - an isolated cave along Thorold's and Busk's rockiest and most dangerous coast - the Sea's Ire Shore, the Bards called it. They said that it was there, where the Lady of the seas of Thorold had been rejected by her Mountain lover. It was where the Lady drenched the Mountain with her gifts; gifts which were now given out of spite instead of love. The Gesdath was hard to locate, even for a Bard's eye, but as the Bards who were directing the winds were experienced, they reached the shore very safely.<p>

The Gesdath was hidden, as if it was the Lady's heart itself. It was hidden, some sang, by the Lady, who wanted to preserve the love she'd once felt, and the joy she'd got out of her love. The coral deposits were said to be the tears of her heart. Some of the Bards used to feel this description of the corals so deeply, that when they used to actually visit the corals, they used to be moved to tears.

It was Nerili's maiden voyage to that shore. She got gingerly off the boat, and felt the sea winds whip her face.

"I didn't realise it would be so windy." She stated, as she took in the rocks of the Gesdath.

"I suppose it's the first time you're coming here, then, miss?" their boatman asked. "We mage the winds to keep them still; for it is better to carry on with winds of magery, than to let the sea do her work and end up being wrecked somewhere."

"Well, I certainly would be lying, Owan, if I said that I'd expected something a bit more imposing." She shrugged. Nerili didn't find the place to be understated or anything less than beautiful - if anything, she felt it described her completely - but she couldn't stop her vivid imagination churning out exceedingly detailed or grand scenes for her.

Nerili felt the wind and the rocks, the sea and white sand which was bespeckled with small black stones, and the sounds of nature and the blue of the sky and the sea deeply. To say simply, she was in awe of it. However, her awe ironically transformed her expression and deameanour to mere nonchalance, which has resulted in a number of dejected artists and other people of notice.

"Well, Nerili, this is the Lady at her barest; will of rock and winds of despair, confusion and rage protecting gems of a heart." Owan d'Aroki smiled and returned back to the boat.

"It's beautiful, isn't it, Nerili?" Kabeka grinned. "Here, let me tuck in your dress; it'll be reduced to rags if you take even a step on these treacherous rocks. I say, isn't the wind bothering you? Tuck your hair in the lovely new scarf of yours, Neri!"

Kabeka excitedly took Nerili's hair in her hands and began wrapping her scarf around them.

"Kabeka, I'll manage on my own." Nerili smiled at the enthusiasm which her friend displayed. Kabeka had been here quite a few times, but still she was as awed as ever.

"Well, then, come along!"

Nerili tried to find some footing as much as possible, but seemed to be failing miserably.

"Actually, Kabeka, I wouldn't mind some help." But she realised her friend had long gone.

Stumbling and fumbling through, often cutting sides of her feet against the rocks, she finally reached the cave. Supporting herself with a rock boulder, which made it seem as if nothing but a huge rock existed beyond, Nerili shut her eyes against a sparkling fountain of light. The glare was so strong, that she thought herself to be blind to not have seen it even from afar.

Suddenly the light went out and Nerili found herself opening her mouth in horror.

"Come in, Nerili, you're spoiling the view." Someone whispered. Nerili shuffled herself in, and suddenly, the light was back, and the pain in her palm caused by the cuts and bruises there was forgotten.

"Isn't it wonderful?" someone asked softly.

"Yes. It is." Nerili responded.

"I see it every year, and it never fails to amaze me. It is magnificent." Someone else echoed.

And it indeed was. The ceiling was not too high, which made the cave look more like a hide away. The glare was coming in from a part of the wall close to the entrance. The entire wall was made of crystal. She retreated and saw the sunlight strike the crystal so perfectly, as if they had to be together.

She looked around, and saw crystal branches jutting out of rock walls; crystals hanging from ceilings in such a way that it looked like they were large tear drops and some crystals even grew out of the floor like plants grow from soil. There were pillars of crystal, and small gaps in walls from which crystals peeked out like sunflowers.

Nerili observed them carefully - they were colourless, with only a streak of blue running through them. The crystal wall reflected the light on to the other formations, and they shined with different colours each time you noticed them. They didn't illuminate the cave, but their glow was enough.

Everyone walked very silently through the narrow end of the cave which was barely visible. If Nerili had anything on her mind besides wonder at such beauty, it was only astonishment at why her neck wasn't aching, considering how frequently her eyes were seeking every part everywhere, every time.

She would have kept walking had she not stumbled into someone's hand.

"Careful." The person ahead of her replied, holding out his hand to her.

"What is up ahead?" she whispered back.

"The corals. There's water, and difficult journey, which is why it's taking a lot of time."

"I see."

Finally, the Bard ahead of her began moving, and Nerili walked as fast as she could to keep up with him. A sudden thought struck her.

"Why can't we use a magelight here?"

"It allows us to appreciate the beauty of the cave as it is. The natural light, the natural crystals and corals - it makes it seem more breath taking that way. Also, these caves are old. Use of magery may harm the natural features here."

Nerili nodded, not quite knowing that no one would be able to see her.

"Be careful up ahead - there's a bit of an ascent and more water."

Nerili just barely suppressed her sigh of frustration.

The water was increasing, and Nerili could almost feel her feet sinking into the soft sand. She distracted herself from the pain of the trek by thinking about what colour the sand could've been. Finally, the man in front of her stopped. The narrow passage widened, and suddenly, Nerili found herself in an oval cave, with crystal adorning the roof, and in front of her, lapping at her feet, the clearest and coldest water she'd ever seen or felt.

In the little lake, which ran till the end of the cave, were ledges on which resided corals of every colour imaginable. And the most surprising part was - they glittered. Nerili realised with a slight shock that the crystals were growing amongst and beside the corals.

The water reflected the crystal tapestry above, and though it wasn't quite still, it was even so hypnotising.

"A pity, I was late for the first trip. The third trip is hardly worth it." someone beside her said.

"Why? Don't you find this beautiful?" Nerili challenged. How could one be so impartial towards that bewitching sight in front of them?

There was laughter. "Your first time here? Well, then, if you come next year to the first trip here then you'll see what I mean. This sight is spoiled - some corals are trampled, the water is not still, foot prints along the way and the crystals have become dirty."

Until now, they were talking in whispers, but a Bard broke the silence.

"Here we are, my friends, beholding the one of the most bewitching sight in Thorold, and perhaps, Edil-Amarandh. Feast your eyes, and then we'll depart. And all the men and women who have attended their maiden voyage here, rejoice! For you have seen the jewels of a lover's heart, jewels and flowers which were planted at the very beginning this love started. Once you leave, you will find something new. And if the Light wills, maybe even a love."

"If the Light wills!" Everyone echoed besides her and a few other people, who were presumably here for the first time. After a few minutes, they began heading out towards the shore.

"So, do you believe finding something new or some love?" Nerili asked a random Bard behind her.

"A love, you say? That's all I ask." Nerili realised it was the same man who was walking in front of her when they were exploring the cave.

"What do they call you?" the man asked.

"Nerili." she replied. "Nerili of Busk." she added as an afterthought. They were near the end now. "What is your name?"

But before he could answer, a couple of her friends, with Kabeka leading them, jumped almost on top of Nerili to ask her how she'd felt. And in the glorious sun, with the water lapping up nearby and wind blowing against her cheeks, with her closest friends talking and giggling with her, she felt a kind of joy that she hadn't felt for quite some time now.


End file.
